The crisis of your 20s

Your 20s can be confusing, but maybe that's how they're supposed to be. From the moment you hit your 20s, all of a sudden you start worrying about so many things at once. Maybe you feel like things carry more weight. Things that you were previously worried about suddenly seem to bring way more stress. You feel like you're still young enough, that this is the time to live your life, that you can make mistakes, go out, and experience things. But at the same time, you feel old enough that you have to figure things out. That you're running out of time. That you can't just let the years pass by as if they mean nothing.

It's such a stressful yet relatable thing for anyone in their 20s to go through. Knowing that so many other people experience the same thing doesn't necessarily make it any easier, but maybe there's some comfort in realizing that these feelings aren't unique to you. Maybe the uncertainty, the pressure, and the feeling that you should have more figured out by now are simply part of being at this stage of life. Maybe part of the problem is that we know we're supposed to be moving forward, but we don't always know what that's supposed to look like. We're getting older, our responsibilities are changing, and the decisions we make can start to feel more important. Somewhere along the way, though, getting older starts to feel less like simply growing and more like a deadline to have everything figured out.

Objectively, yes, once you're in your 20s, you are getting older. With age comes more responsibilities, and from here on out, you'll just keep getting older. But why does that suddenly translate into, I have to have everything figured out? Why does it turn into this unrealistic, perfectionistic mindset where you feel like you have to reach certain milestones by a certain age? 

Think about it like this: If someone, out of nowhere, had the opportunity at the age of 40 to start working in their dream career, even if that meant starting all over again, would that make their accomplishment meaningless because they "ran out of time"? It doesn't work like that. We don't look at someone who finds love at 50 and think, "Well, they should have done that twenty years ago." We don't look at someone who goes back to school at 35 and think their degree matters less because they didn't get it at 22. We understand that people reach different milestones at different points in their lives.

So why do we treat our 20s as if they're some kind of deadline? Why does it feel so different when we're the ones living through it? Maybe because when you're in your 20s, every year can feel like evidence that you're either moving forward or falling behind. You see someone your age getting engaged, buying a house, starting a career, traveling, or seemingly "figuring it all out," and suddenly your own life feels like it's being measured against theirs.

Maybe it's not our lives that need to catch up to some predetermined timeline. Maybe it's our mentality that has to change. As someone in their 20s, you're allowed to set your own terms and live your own life, despite what you've heard, what you've seen, or even what you've come to expect from yourself. You don't have to have everything figured out. You don't have to be perfect.

And maybe this is the time to not be so great at everything. To make mistakes. To change your mind. To start over. To go through whatever experiences you can, even the ones that don't lead anywhere. Maybe your 20s aren't about having it all figured out. Maybe they're about figuring out what you actually want.