How to get over heartbreak

It's easier said than done. But there are definitely ways to make it easier. You've probably heard this type of advice a million times, whether it's through friends or social media, because heartbreak is such a universal experience, even as painful as it is. The title makes the situation seem very absolute, meaning if you do X, Y, and Z, you'll get the results you're hoping for, which is hopefully to get over that person. But it doesn't really work like that. There are definitely things that can help, but there's no exact formula for getting over someone.

Breakups can be very messy. Either because the relationship itself was messy or because the feelings that you're experiencing after the breakup are totally messy. In that case, it's very important to allow yourself to feel everything. A lot of the time, we take on a position of pride where we want to seem fine or seem like we're pushing forward despite the pain. We don't want people to know that we're struggling, or maybe we don't even want to admit it to ourselves. I'm not saying to let everything in your life crumble because of heartbreak, but it's okay to be in a bad place for a little while.

Heartbreak is a big deal. It makes sense if, at first, it's hard for you to eat, sleep, socialize, not cry, or stop talking about this person. It makes sense if you're angry one day and sad the next. It makes sense if you feel like you're doing better and then suddenly have a really bad day. That's what grief can look like.

So just feel what comes up. Whether that's anger, sadness, confusion, or grief, let yourself feel it without immediately trying to get rid of it. You don't have to force yourself to be okay just because you think you should be.

Along with the feelings mentioned, sometimes another feeling that shows up is longing, which is totally normal even if you know logically that things didn't work out for a reason. You can know that the relationship wasn't right for you and still miss the person. You can know that going back wouldn't fix what happened and still wish you could talk to them. Those things can exist at the same time.

It's important to know that there doesn't have to be a reaction to every feeling that comes up. No, not every feeling requires a reaction. Again, more emphasis on feeling your feelings rather than reacting to them. You can miss someone without texting them. You can be angry without sending them a paragraph. You can feel lonely without going back to the person who made you feel less lonely.

Sometimes a feeling is just a feeling. It doesn't necessarily mean you need to do something about it. And what happens if you do react to those feelings and reach out to that person or do something that you swore it was best not to do? That's okay too. You texted the person. You can't go back and change that. Will it make things harder? Maybe. But it's also a good opportunity to learn something about yourself and what you actually needed in that moment.

Maybe you realize that talking to them didn't make you feel better. Maybe you realize you weren't actually looking for them, you were looking for comfort or reassurance. Or maybe you realize that you're still hurting more than you thought you were. Whatever the lesson is, you can take it and keep going. You don't have to turn one mistake into proof that you're back at square one.

That's one of the biggest problems with the way we talk about healing. We think that if we have a good week and then suddenly miss the person again, we've somehow undone all of our progress. But that isn't necessarily true. Healing can be really inconsistent. You can have a great day and still have a bad night. You can go weeks without thinking about someone and then suddenly think about them again.

That doesn't mean you haven't moved forward. There also isn't a deadline for getting over someone. You might feel better in a few weeks, or it might take much longer. You might think you're completely fine and then something reminds you of them. That doesn't mean you're failing. Eventually, the memories might still be there, but they won't have the same effect on you.

And obviously, there are things you can do to make the process easier. Work out. Hang out with your friends. Focus on your goals and hobbies. Get out of the house. Try something new. Create a routine. Do things that make you feel like yourself again. But the important part is why you're doing those things.

You shouldn't have to become the best version of yourself just so the person who broke your heart regrets losing you. You don't have to post yourself having the time of your life so they wonder what they lost. You don't have to completely change your appearance or become obsessed with being successful just to prove that you're doing better without them. Do those things because they make you feel better. Do them because you're still a person outside of that relationship.

And sometimes, even when you're doing everything right, you might still struggle. You might be doing everything you've been told you're supposed to do, and yet you might still miss them. That's normal. That's okay.

There is no magic potion that will make you get over someone. There's no exact amount of time you have to wait. There's no checklist that guarantees you'll wake up one morning and suddenly not care anymore.

Maybe getting over someone isn't really about forgetting them or never thinking about them again. Maybe it's about getting to a point where thinking about them doesn't control your life anymore. You can miss them and still move forward. You can remember the good parts of the relationship without pretending the bad parts didn't exist. You can care about someone and still know you're better off without them.

So if you're going through heartbreak right now, try not to make the process harder by judging yourself for how you're handling it. Feel what you need to feel. Take care of yourself. Let yourself have bad days. Learn from the things you do when you're hurting. Keep living your life, even if you don't feel completely like yourself yet. You don't have to rush yourself into being over someone. You just have to keep moving.

Follow the socials

Stay in touch for more content

© 2026. All rights reserved.